Three little words

I would love for you to meet my friend Janine.  I would love for the three of us to sit down, hot tea or coffee in hand and for us to spend some together.  By the end of that time together I know for sure that you would have made a new friend and you would feel loved and valued.

My friend Janine is glamorous without even trying to be.  She is tall, and beautiful and has a calmness and a serenity that only comes from knowing who you are in God.  She and her husband are in fulltime Christian Ministry and her life is full of airports, speaking engagements, church commitments, extended family life and looking after her own kids.  Yet when she is speaking one on one with you, you feel like you are the only person in the world who matters to her right now.

Janine has an amazing memory and even if you haven’t seen her for months she will know what your trials and joys are.

That’s the kind of woman she is.  She cares, and it is such a genuine and sincere thing.

Janine is the real deal.  These three little words are never far from her mouth; ‘how are you?’.  Said with a smile on her face and piercing blue eyes gazing deep.

I miss those three words.

I can think of only one new friend here in America who has said those three words to me, said with genuine interest and love.  Maybe it is a cultural thing in NZ to say it more, and maybe we have all said it as something to be said, without really wanting to stop and hear, really hear the answer.

But sometimes you just want someone to say ‘how  are you?’  Not because you want to bare your soul.  Not because you would even maybe even tell them ANYTHING or EVERYTHING.  You just want to know that someone is actually thinking about how you are feeling.

Nobody cares about how much you know, until they know how much you care.

I want to be the friend that stops to ask, ‘how are you?’.  I want to have time to stop for a moment and hear out your answer.  I never want to be too busy for a soul that needs to be heard, or a person that needs vent or laugh or cry.

Janine has taught me how to ask questions in such a way to show I really care.  But it all starts with those three little words.

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So tell me my friends……are people too busy these days to say those words?  Is life too hectic because they know that if they really want to hear the answer to that question then that requires time and patience to hear the answer out?  Is it a cultural difference? I am really curious.  Let me know 🙂

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2 thoughts on “Three little words

  1. That friend sounds amazing 🙂

    To me those three words are usually just an extention of “hi” … kind of like when you turn up at kindy and the teacher is like “hi..how are you..” as they are already on their way past looking for someone else or to do something else.

    And when someone does ask and they actually do *gasp!* mean it.. what do you say? People don’t always wanna hear “well, actually I’m not good”.. so sometimes it’s hard not to feel compelled to say “I’m fine”

    As christians I think we should ask that question alot more.. and mean.. and make sure we’re doing our best to let the other person know that whatever the answer is.. we want to hear it 🙂

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