The things I could write about…

There are a  few things I could write about today.

 

I could talk about the fact that we’ve kept The Thinker home from school today because we didn’t want him to be in the Halloween parade.  Halloween has been one of the biggest culture shocks for us to see.  But I’m too chicken to write about it just now.

I could talk about the minefield of a relationship that I have with a relative.  How this week I felt moved to write a note of pure encouragement and love, I went out of my comfort zone – but in doing so had to negotiate my way around how she may have perceived things.  A real minefield – but I was motivated by love.  But I am still working through how I feel about a zero response so far.

I could talk about how I am so blessed by a couple of blossoming friendships here and how my existing friendships still mean so much to me and I don’t see anything wrong with that and I will continue to hold onto them and be a friend in every way I can.  Though distance separates us.

So many things I could talk about.

 

But you know what?

 

I am going to leave the computer for a while this morning. I am going to admire newly built train tracks, brush little pearly white teeth, and bake mini pumpkin pies with my munchkins.  And in the doing of what I love to do most – the Mummy thing – then maybe I will see with a bit more clarity what I could write about…..

 

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The Rollercoaster

I’m on a rollercoaster ride at the moment.  It’s not something I would actually pay money to do – and there aren’t any giant mice following me around or princesses or spinning teacups.

I’ve done this rollercoaster ride before, so the feelings that come from this ride are not new.

The rollercoaster ride is a means to an end.  The destination is one where  hard work prevails, but the results are endless – without boundaries. Love and joy. Sacrifice and wisdom is needed.

I promised myself that I would not let my emotions rise and fall as the ride goes through the highs and lows.  I promised myself.  Those feelings though…wow…they are strong.  You can’t just turn off your feelings can you?  Or can you?

You can fill your head with scripture…….you can go over the promises of God…….you can read God’s truth……you can let the Holy Spirit’s peace invade every part of you……

Can you turn off your feelings?  Your emotions?  I believe women have emotions for a reason – emotions make us women compassionate  and enable us to show empathy, enable us to relate, to bond and form community.  But aren’t they a pain sometimes??

I am learning it is about balance.  Allowing yourself to feel things, without letting it affect how you interact with others, how you live your day to day life and how you communicate with those around you – especially those who are closest to you.  I guess it is about knowing that ultimately God has ALL things under His control.

With this particular rollercoaster ride I can be sad or happy, joyful or cross, patient or impatient.  Here’s the thing though, I can choose to stay being sad or happy, joyful or cross, patient or impatient, or not.  I can’t just flick a switch and decide not to ‘feel’ anything.  I am not made of steel – I am not like the tin man in the Wizard of Oz for I have a heart!!

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How do you control your feelings?

A Giggle Moment

‘The Hurricane’ made me giggle today.  Giggle aloud.  He was heading outside to play when he leaned back in, and earnestly asked ‘what time do you want me home Mom?’.

Well sunshine…..here’s the thing…….1.  You’re three and you’re not allowed past the fire hydrant – so I can see you at all times.  2.  You can’t tell the time yet  3.  Your days of playing outside of my sight are years away….

It was a very funny moment and one that can only come from having an older brother around.  You see ‘The Thinker’, aged seven is allowed to play past the fire hydrant.  He has a certain amount of freedom in that he can play outside past the fire hydrant, as long as he obeys the rules we have for him.  And he does obey them.  Hence the ‘what time do you want me home?’ question uttered by the three year old, as it is something he hears a lot.

For now ‘The Hurricane’ has to be content to be close to me.  He thinks he’s big enough and clever enough to do anything.  There will come a day when I will have to trust him, as I have to trust ‘The Thinker’ that he can play safely and responsibly without me seeing and hearing all.  I have to trust my children, yes, but more importantly I need to trust our Father.  Their heavenly Father. Trust that He will keep them safe.

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