Sink or swim?

Another unanswered email.

Whammo.

Another unanswered text.

Ugh.

Another promise of something, only to have it changed last minute because of their schedule and their issues.

Sigh.

Another day of no phone calls – other than the Spunky Hunk checking in.

Another social event where conversation is one-sided and no-one bothers to ask me about me, or my family or my anything.

Up go the walls of my heart.

Up goes my level of frustration.

Up goes my sense of injustice.

Down goes my level of patience with everyone.  Down goes my confidence in myself.

But the more I reach out to people and the more tired I get of receiving a negative response – I realize there are so many other lonely people out there.  So.  I can’t give up.  Not yet.  Not yet there are more hurting people around me.  Not while I am still hurting.

How I long for this world to be revolutionized by people who actually care about others.  How I long for social media to be used as a tool to introduce people to my loving God.  How it frustrates me to no end to see man’s selfishness time and time again.

And yet, even when I am hurting I know God’s richest blessings all around me.  The words of a worship song flow from my lips.   I can thank the good Lord for boy one, two, three and four.   I can thank the good Lord for His calling and his enabling for the Spunky Hunk to do his job, his ministry; our ministry.

Sink or swim?

I’ll swim thanks.

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6 thoughts on “Sink or swim?

  1. I pray that God blesses you with meaningful and deep friendships that nurture your heart and soul. Love that you choose thankfulness and see God in all.

    This could have been my song when I moved to NZ – felt just like that for a while.

    Could be a culture difference thing too maybe?

  2. Those could very easily be my own words and feelings. I really admire that you choose to swim. I don’t know how you do it. Maybe the secret is to be thankful.

    Sometimes I think.. if you just try harder.. listen better… care more… but I know that is not the answer. I’m not sure what is though.

    So, who are you? 🙂

  3. Pingback: Honest words « A little bit of honesty

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