Ever feel like you’re in the training years?
That this time – while you’re not being fully utilised in your natural and spiritual giftings – is preparation for something later? Not something necessarily better – but something in the future?
I’m feeling this at the moment, and the greatest thing is to be able to look back and see progress in faith steps, and recognize each stage of life as being significant and necessary.
My baby is nearly one. I have absolutely cherished his babyhood. I have not once groaned at yet another diaper change. Yet another wipe of the highchair. He is my last. He is a delight and he is truly amazing. But babyhood is part of the training….babyhood can be restricting….we stick to his routine because it works. But it won’t be forever and this time will never be had again. I can see how some people just can’t wait for the next stage, and I’ve talked before in this blog about how I used to long for the next big event in my life.
But I am happy to say I am learning. I am learning to be content in the now. Content in the training. Learning the life lessons that life is bringing me. Not begrudging the bad, and embracing the good.
Last week our car died. Kaput. Goneburger. Not to be resurrected from the dead. It happened on my husband’s way to work but he didn’t call me straight away – he waited a few hours. Wise man. He was worried about my reaction – would there be crying and wailing? Worry? Gnashing of teeth? Well I surprised him and even myself. My initial reaction was calm and peace. WHAT? Two years ago – or even a year ago – it would have been all of the above. But this time – I was ok with it. There was a time of slight freaking out later in the day – but overall my response really surprised me. I know that my God is a big God and he can and does supply all our needs. And yes He did and now we have a car to drive (second hand, done a lotta miles, but it is perfect for our needs). And yes we did have to dip into our savings which could cause me major heart palpitations when it comes to thinking about costs involved in our decisions we need to make this year (either extend our visas or move home), but Praise God – we have savings! The training years are working. I’m no longer the roller coaster of emotions I used to be. And I’ve gotten there only through experiencing the highs and lows, and by having to rely on God and see and taste His goodness.
The Training Years. I’m right in them. In the midst of maths homework, speech therapy sessions, teething, date nights at home, putting on Pandora for a decent worship session, the loneliness that is my life and the frustrations I find with the self-absorption that is all around me, there are glorious lessons to be learnt. My life to be moulded. My God to be glorified. I will not begrudge this time. And you?