This is my second attempt at writing this afternoon. My first attempt was scrapped when I realized I was writing out of frustration and anger. Not a good place to be. But a very real and hard place.
So why the doom and gloom? Basically I think I’m just a bit fed up. And now I’ve just had the ‘ah hah’ moment. Thanks God – now my priorities are right and now the words are flowing. Funny how that happens huh?
I was feeling cross and upset because of misunderstandings and tricky relationships. I’ve got a friend that I’ve been really trying to connect with, trying to encourage and trying to be there for. But it hasn’t been reciprocal, and the encouragement I’ve given hasn’t been taken as simply that. Encouragement. So I’ve been sad and hurt, and even judging.
I tweeted this earlier this week – Sometimes people aren’t really asking for advice, they are asking to be told they have done the right thing. Tricky when pride gets in way.
Tsk tsk. I know.
But you know what I haven’t been doing?
I haven’t been praying.
I haven’t been asking God for more love, more of His ways to reach this person, and more of her heart to be open to change and taking on advice.
So that’s what I’m gonna do. I don’t have all the answers, and I get super frustrated when I read stuff on the internet written as though others are the experts (because the internet has a sneaky way of enabling all of us to take on an expert persona – when perhaps – we shouldn’t). But I do know someone who is an expert and someone – make that – Someone who does have all the answers. I can’t take away pride – but I know Who can.
Instead of frustration, I’m trying prayer.
Instead of hurt and pain (I hate that I am such a relational person!), I’m trying prayer.
Instead of taking things personally when messages get lost in translation, I’m trying MORE prayer.