Honest words

My blog is all about honesty.  My words are from what I know, my experiences, my life stories, the good and the bad and the ugly.  I talked in this post Bee in my bonnet about the need for ‘community’ and some benefits of community.  Today  – I want to look at what lack of community does to a person. This person.

No I’m not depressed.  No I can honestly say that I’m a  fully functioning happy wife and Mummy. But here’s the thing, because of the lack of community around me that I’ve experienced for the last two and a half years, I feel like a deflated balloon, just floating adrift.  And if I feel like this, as one who has had an army of friends around me in the past, and I know what it is to have bosom buddies and kindred spirits and people’ to do life with’, then I think, if I feel this way, when I am still so connected to people (thanks to the internet!) then how many others are walking around, like deflated balloons, just floating adrift.  People who have never known and experienced true friendship around them.

Why do I feel deflated when I have an alive relationship with a God that I know is head over heels in love with me?  And I can feel Him, and know His embrace.  Why do I feel deflated when I have the most amazing husband in the world?  That he is hands down the most supportive and most stable man in the world and he still makes my heart flutter after nearly twelve years of marriage?

Why do I feel deflated?

I think it comes down to this – we were made for community.  We were designed to rejoice when others rejoice and mourn when other mourn.  And when you don’t have that, and know what it is like to have that, there is only so long you can outflow the good stuff into other people.

There are only so many questions I can ask about other people, before I wonder, ‘will they ever ask about me?’

There are only so many conversations I can handle when the person I am talking to is focussed on themselves and their life and all that entails, and doesn’t think to ask about me and my life.

There are only so many social engagements I can go to, and be sincerely and genuinely interested and inquisitive about others, before I realize that not one question was asked of me.

No I don’t give to get. I am not a selfish person.  I do not have rose tinted glasses and am very aware of my failings as a person, a friend, a Mother.

But come on people!  Self-centeredness does no-one any favours.  No-one.  Not yourself.  Not your fellow deflated balloon.  Community would easily be built in this country, if you would just show an interest in others.  It is not that hard!

I walk through my days, trying to be a good friend.  Asking others how they are.  Trying to encourage.  To be a practical help when needed.  I used to have huge encouragers around me, in NZ.  People that would openly and warmly say good words when appropriate. Not to inflate my ego, but to mean something, and because goodness and nice-ness would just ooze out of these people.

America is lacking in community in so many ways, and I am sure so many other countries are too.  I am a deflated balloon, and I am sure so many people around me are too.  So what I am going to do to protect my heart, and not let permanent damage occur?  I talked in the past about having the choice to Sink or Swim, and I do choose to swim.  I do.  I really do.  I need help though friends.  I need encouragement.  I need to know there are people out there that ‘get’ me and like me.  I need the people out there in real life, not just on the interwebby to actually BE a friend to me.  That is what this deflated balloon needs.

So how about you?  Are you needing some huffing and a puffing come your way? Do you need inflating?  And what are you gong to do about that – to change your life for the better?


4 thoughts on “Honest words

  1. ahhhhhh, it is a problem noted by too many young mamas, huh? I remember feeling that way while I was surrounded by those who loved me. But, your perfect illustration, my balloon was deflated and I couldn’t get it to poof up! hard time in life, and being in a different country–aw shucks! Know you are loved by me and keep reaching out–always–as you do!

  2. Checkin’ in on ya here. Found this post from your Bee in My Bonnet comments. Prayerful for you in this area. We are only up the road a bit if you ever need us! (PS come on church family…step up!)

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