No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation.
Unscripted. Unedited. Real.
5 mins of writing on a set topic.
I’ve decided that if I ever wanted to do more writing….and to really get serious about it then I need to be able to just write. Simply write. So I’m going to join some friends linking up at Lisa-Jo’s blog and we shall see what fun ensues…..
Every six months, give or take a couple of weeks, I have a bit of a spaz attack. My brain attacks inwardly, internally pulling my peace to bits and what is left is ugly me, exposed, with my shakey faith, doubting thoughts and 1001 ways that life isn’t fair.
You see my natural inclination is to want to cling to security. To have such things as a house to call my home. To have the beginnings of ‘college funds’ and retirement plans. And to even know where we’ll be living, what we’ll be doing in twelve months time.
But that is not the life we live, that is not what we’re called to right now. God said ‘go’ and so we went. Our lives are not our own. What I want to grasp in the natural, in the reality of being in this world, just isn’t to be for now. Maybe one day, but not now.
Maybe eventually the spaz attacks will become fewer and further apart. One day I will be completely at peace with the way God’s provision looks for us – for we know we always have enough and we know He holds our future firmly in hand. But for now…..when my peace becomes a fleeing shadow and the comparisons and feelings of failure rise up within me….I know I need to grasp a new and very tight hold on these words:
And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or property, for my sake, will receive a hundred times as much in return and will inherit eternal life. – Matthew 19:29
For this is my hope. This is what needs to be tight in my grasp. God is more than enough. His ways are higher than our ways. Our God is able.