All the (married) ladies in the house…….

There’s not a lot ever posted in blogland on the topic of sex.  Nope.  People tend to stay away from this one.

I can’t believe I just wrote that three-letter word myself.

But I have to admit I’m not blushing.  Not yet, anyway.

Now let me state this very clearly just because I am choosing to do one little blog post on this today….this an expert or a crazy woman addict does not me make.  Just passing on some knowledge is all.  Was gonna say ‘tips’ but thought better of that!

I will say that my husband is the very best husband in the world, and I am learning to be a better wifey.

My blog is all about honesty, talking friend to friend.  I’m sorry if I ever sound preachy.  That’s not my intent.  I believe God has brought me through some things not just for myself, but to share with others, to glorify Him.  So if in my sharing I sound preachy, then forgive me.  This blog is as much about reminding myself of things as anything, telling myself to action upon things, to be changed from the inside out.

Where was I?

Sex.  That’s right.

Ladies take a minute to go and peruse your undies drawer.  Go on.  Go and look through your unmentionables.  Let’s mention them today. I’ll still be here when you get back.  Sitting here, enjoying my cuppa tea.  Away you go.

You back?

Right o.  Now tell me.  Just play along, ok?  Did what you see make you go woohoo?  Or boohooo??  Comfortable cotton – dating back to ‘post-baby practical you’ or racey lacey?

If you said ‘boohoo’ then that was me until a couple of weeks ago.  I decided I needed to do my part to…you know…..Now I have some ‘woohoo’ in my drawer and I like to call them  my magic undies.  Yep.  I didn’t spend a lot of money – only $9 for three (thanks Kohl’s clearance!) and somehow, magically, they DO make me feel different.  Feel better.  Feel racey.  Feel like……you know.

So if you have some boohoo going on, get yourself some magic undies.  And if you’re a rare male reading this….buy your wifey some magic undies.  You will be rewarded. 🙂

Now I’m not saying that’s all there is to a healthy and happy marriage, with a happy and healthy sex-life (there’s that word again). It is not that simple.  But it is one thing that helps.  One thing that you can do.  One thing that can change things.  And one thing that is often overlooked in the busy days and long nights, of putting little people’s needs and wants first.

Another thing.  If you have kids, little kids you’re probably quite tired.  Continually tired.  We’re the reason coffee is so popular, and drive- thru coffee kiosks were created just for us.  There is a universal truth – Motherhood makes you bone-weary.

Sometimes when you finally get to bed after a crazy day running around after little hooligans.  Darling hooligans, but hooligans none-the-less the thought crosses your mind……’is he going to want to tonight?’  Its not that you don’t necessarily want to, you know it is important, you know you’ll even enjoy it….but having that question mark in your head, can do your head in sometimes.  Especially when your littlies are very little, especially when you feel like you’ve been sharing your breastfeeding body all day anyway.  Those days are tough.

One little idea an older lady passed onto a bunch of us ‘learners’ at a ‘wife-school’ course I did recently, called ‘Apples of Gold’ (if you ever get a chance to partake in this – doooooo!!) is to have a candle in your room.  A scented candle that your husband can light, if he has only one thing on his mind that evening.  Or  – mix things up – YOU light it, if you’re wanting some sheet action.  That way it takes the question mark away from your head as you get ready for bed and you have time to turn your attitude from an ‘ok, then……if we must…’ to ‘all righty babe, I’m fully here and fully yours’.

Trust me.  The candle thing is wonderful for a tired Momma.

Attitude is everything in a lot of things, but especially in marriage.

So, add to this week’s shopping list: scented candle and some racey lacies.  I dare ya!

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The Good Wife?

A good wife should not laugh out loud when her husband tells her he is planning on going for a run in the morning.

 

A good wife should not pretend to be asleep in the middle of the night when the munchkins are needing something.

 

A good wife should not be completely reliant on having a decent shot of caffeine brought to her, before she is fully or even partly functioning in the morning.

 

A good wife should not let the pantry become so low that the husband has to have jam sandwiches for his lunch.

 

Sometimes I am not a good wife.  But I am the Spunky Hunk’s wife and I know I am loved, for all the things I do, and all the things I don’t do.  It doesn’t matter to him – he loves me.

The Spunky Hunk and I are coming up to our ten year anniversary this month.  Whoop whoop!  I am very excited by that.  That means we will have been married for nearly a third of our lives (yes we were infants when we said I do!), and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I seriously think I have the best husband in the world.  No, actually, I know it.  I’ve often said that I got the better deal in marrying him.

You want to know the kind of man he is?  He is the kind of man who has held my hair back from my face as I have seen my breakfast for the second time, many many times.  The kind of man who has taught me to drive – in two countries – and never once raised his voice at me or sighed in exasperation.  The kind of man who listens to my problems, concerns and worries and doesn’t try to offer his opinion or a solution.  The kind of man who steals away for time with the Lord, making it a priority and a need, setting an example for the family.  The kind of man who hungers for closeness to God, longs to see acts of God and doesn’t settle for mediocre in any area of his life.

That’s the kind of man I married.  That’s the one who loves me.

We have a mighty fine relationship.  Its been a fun and fulfilling ten years.  We never had the ‘rocky first few months’ of marriage that so many people had warned us of, thanks be to God.

Now I have to say we are not marriage experts.  Yes we are very happy and yes we are on a journey, but experts we are not.  But the one piece of advice I will share today is something that was shared with us by a couple we love, spoken to us when we became engaged.  Their words – ‘respect each other’.  Above all else, respect.

Respecting my husband means that I will not speak ill of the Spunky Hunk.  When the girlfriends gather around and talk becomes sloppy and grudges become public I refuse to join in, I refuse to stoop to that.  Respecting means that I will not nag him, I will not pester.  Respecting my husband means that I will continue to mould myself into a better wife, to meet his needs and to encourage him.

I’ve been having my early morning cup of tea made for me for nearly ten years now.  I am a blessed woman.  I respect my husband and he respects me.  We’re a team.  Roll on the next ten years!

A7