‘He’s going to grow up not knowing who he is’.
We’re a real crossroads in our life at the moment. Us, my family. Coming to America was only ever going to be a temporary thing. Our three year visa was actually extended and we were granted an additional two years. We have to leave the country by early next year. Which brings us to now – a crossroads point in our lives where we are exploring options for what to do next, where to go next.
‘He’s going to grow up not knowing who he is’ – those words were casually yet pointedly spoken out to me last week. A warning of sorts, by someone who cares, but a critical spirit tends to prevail at times.
Yes we may end up in another country, and not back ‘home’. That may be where God leads us – or the doors may shut. We’re open to whatever. What is most important for us is to be where God leads us, where my husband’s skills can be most useful.
Our lives are not our own. And this is what our children are seeing and learning. This is what we hope they pick up both intentionally and through the natural process of osmosis, sponges that they are.
And so, to the words spoken as a warning, I rebuke them.
My boys will grow up knowing they are citizens of New Zealand. Part of the Ngai Tahu tribe. They are members of a wonderful and large extended family. But, more importantly, they are children of God. They have skills and talents and abilities – God given – and it is up to my husband and I to foster in them a love for learning, a love for each other and the wider world, and to develop servant’s hearts.
We are their example.
How we do things in our home, right now, at this crossroads point in our lives, sets the tone.
And so, we talk about the options we have before us. We talk openly about God’s ability to open and close doors. We show them that we’re praying. We remind them of how God has always provided. We include them in the process. Not with every, single thing, but with hopefully a bit of wisdom and insight on our part.
And yes we are going to stuff up. We may have to backtrack on decisions. We may have to disappoint. I have no doubt that my children will see me impatient and frustrated. They will learn that things happen according to God’s timetable and not ours. As we begin homeschooling to tide us over the transition period, crazy Mummy will no doubt raise her ugly head.
But my prayer, more than anything, is that they won’t remember the frustrations, and the ugly. My prayer is that they will remember the adventure. They will see what amazing things happen when God takes the reigns, when we let Him lead our lives. They will see that even in the unknowns of this crossroads time, our faith stands strong and steady. They will know that as a family unit we are tight. Unshakeable. That there is strength in unity.
We are at a crossroads right now, but with God’s help, my kids are always going to know who they are, because they are mine, but more importantly – they are His.